Are you the type of parent that is nurturing with your kids, but sets firm limits? Or, are you more relaxed with the rules?
Whatever parenting style you use, it is important that you express your love to your child by making sure they learn everyday lessons. Validation is an important tool to use for your child to show you are listening to them and involved.
With school starting, children are going to need the motivation to do their homework and study. Once you inspire your child to do their schoolwork instead of procrastinating, they can use these lessons for the rest of their lives.
Here are some tips to use a parenting style that better motivates your child to get active in school and their lives to follow.
The Power of Validation
There may be moments where your child feels like they cannot come to you when they are in trouble. That is where you come in with your tools of validation! This is your way of letting your child know you understand their thoughts and feelings.
When your child is feeling neglected, they may react with a tantrum or rebellious acts for attention. To avoid your child angering you, you can practice validation in ways like-
• Sitting quickly and listening to your child judgment-free• Let your child know you are listening
• Acknowledge how your child feels
• Try to understand what your child is saying or feeling
Remember that just because you are validating your child’s feelings, it does not mean you agree with them. You are just being attentive and seeing things from your child’s perspective. If your child is struggling in school, presenting a good ear can make your child come to you more.
De-Escalating Your Child’s Emotions
If your child is making you upset, it is important to keep an open mind when this occurs as a child’s brain is not fully developed. They are just reacting in the only way they know how to get your attention.
If you say no to your child’s request and they respo nd in anger, ignore their behavior. Stand firm on your stance and do not change your mind no matter how your child reacts. Once your child calms down, praise your child for that. The same can be said if your child is ignoring you when you tell them to get to the table. Give them a consequence if they do not listen like lessening their screen time. Once your child listens, give them praise.
Setting limits is also vital to a child’s well-being. You need to communicate with them what behaviors are not allowed. Do not dismiss their actions by saying, “It’s just a phase.” Inappropriate behavior can continue through their adulthood if no one teaches them. Let your child know that homework needs to be done before having fun. Once you set this routine, your child will know what to expect going forward.
Helping Your Child in School
Procrastination in school can have negative effects on your child. The longer they stall doing their schoolwork, the more frustrated and stressed they will be. Especially since schoolwork tends to get harder when moving up each grade, students who procrastinate will get lower grades than the other students.
If your parenting style has been helping your child respect you, you have the opportunity to motivate your child to do well in school. The first thing you can do is build your child’s confidence. Let them know that any effort your child makes will make a difference in how well they do.
You can also create a study plan in breaking down your child’s projects into small parts each day. Day one can mean planning, day two can mean research, and so on.
If you want to learn more about parenting styles, The American Psychological Association has fact sheets and handouts that you can review about your child’s expectations and what you can do.
