Parenting today can sometimes feel like an extra worry with so much going on in our daily lives. Many parents spend time with their family only after the day is done, when all work is over. After a long day of managing jobs, relationships, and deadlines, it’s easy to just want to relax instead of being fully present with your family.
This routine can take up a lot of time, leaving dinner as the only time spent with family—physically there, but mentally elsewhere. The cycle repeats the next day, creating a routine that feels mundane.
This situation happens to many parents, so don’t be hard on yourself. Not being as engaged with your child as you’d like doesn’t mean you’re an uninvolved parent. It simply indicates you may have formed habits that consume time after work that could be better spent with family. There are many strategies you can adopt to become more involved in your child’s life and ease any guilt or stress you might feel about it.
Here are some suggestions:
1. Turn off Electronics
Common advice on being more present with loved ones is to turn off or silence devices while spending time together. Phones, tablets, laptops, and TVs can be major distractions.
It’s easy to see your child glued to their devices and think they are the only ones distracted. But you might be surprised to learn that 68% of parents admit they are distracted by their phones when with their kids.
When you finish work and are home, make it a point to turn off or silence your devices and focus on being with your family. Consider deleting distracting apps like Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, and others that pull you away from meaningful interactions. These apps are designed to grab your attention and can take you away from conversations and parenting.
You might find scrolling through stories is more enjoyable than addressing the needs of your children. Like gambling or substance dependency, social media can create similar addiction pathways in our brains. … When someone shares a post and receives positive feedback, it triggers a dopamine release which reinforces that behavior and keeps you engaged with social media.
Think about ways you can limit social media time for yourself and your children. Ask them what they’d like to experience more at home, and try to incorporate those ideas!
2. Slow Down and Enjoy the Moment
Life is often governed by the clock; there’s always a deadline for tasks. How often do you hurry through your child’s schedule to reach the end quickly? Getting into a routine can make you forget to savor the time spent together. Consider this:
Every moment with your child is an opportunity to slow down and appreciate.
If you aim to be more connected with your child, rushing through their activities won’t help. Instead, look for ways to engage throughout the day: let them help while cooking, so they feel involved, or have meaningful conversations while walking. Enjoy the moments rather than rushing to the next task.
To children, childhood is about the journey, not the finish line. Adopting this mindset can make every interaction special for them.
Another fulfilling way to slow down is to practice mindfulness. One effective method is to engage your 5 senses—sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch. You don’t have to use them all at once; just notice the little things about your child, like their smile or how they smell. Paying attention to these details helps you feel more connected and present.
3. Practice Self-Care
Parenting focuses on meeting another person’s needs, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect your own.
Remember, you have your own needs too.
Many people struggle with guilt for taking time for themselves, thinking they should devote all their focus to their child. However, just like machines need maintenance to function well, so do you.
Creating self-care routines helps prevent burnout that can keep you from being an available, caring, and understanding parent. Even if you can only spare 2-3 minutes for breathing exercises daily, prioritize your well-being. A common concern among parents is not having enough time for self-care. I encourage them to try deep breathing for just a few minutes. You can do it first thing in the morning, perhaps even in the bathroom since we all need to use it early in the day, right?
Conclusion
Finding a parenting style that keeps you involved and present with your child while letting you take care of yourself can take time. It may require some trial and error to find out what works best for you both. There will likely be a learning curve as you adopt these new parenting habits—not everything will resonate with you or your child.
But one thing is for sure: your efforts will benefit both you and your child.
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