It can be a very confusing discovery when you find out your teenage child is cutting themselves. After all, this involves purposefully harming yourself with sharp objects to the skin.
There are studies that say 15%-20% of teens cut themselves at some point or another. Cutting is normally a sign that your teen child is going through something hard that they have trouble talking about. They feel like cutting themselves is the only way to get their pain, anger, and frustration out.
In order for your child to stop cutting, it is important to engage in a dialogue to find out why they feel cutting is the only way to get in touch with their emotions.
Overwhelmed with Emotions
Being a teen can mean dealing with a lot of emotions that feel too hard to handle. Rejection, breakups, a bad home life, or feeling out of place can make you want to interrupt or express these thoughts.
If your teen has experienced trauma, they could have feelings of dissociation from emotional numbness. Cutting can be a way for teens to see if they still feel anything or to allow them to feel again.
Physical Pain Over Emotional Pain
It is hard to know when to heal from emotional pain. If a teen inflicts themselves with physical pain, they will know specifically where the pain is coming from and how long it will take for that cut to heal. This is a pain they have control over compared to the unexpected pain that made them feel powerless.
Cutting can also be a distraction from a teen’s emotions. They would rather focus on the pain and appearance from the cut they made compared to their emotional pain. Because a teen’s emotional pain may be hard to put into words, they could feel relief that their cuts expose their feelings.
Mental Health Conditions
Cutting is often linked to a mental health condition. For some teens, depression and bipolar disorder can bring overwhelming emotions that feel hard to manage. Because teens with anxiety experience worries for things beyond their control, cutting gives them the feeling of control back.
Mental health conditions that affect personality can also make it hard to have steady relationships. These positive attachments can suddenly become disappointing with feelings of hurt, anger, or despair that are too hard to cope with.
How to Talk to Your Teen About Cutting
You may see the signs of your child cutting if there is a reoccurrence of marks on their arms or legs. They may make it a habit of wearing bandages or long sleeves even when it is hot outside. If you notice these signs, do not ignore them. Otherwise, your child could hurt themselves more seriously than they planned.
The first thing you should do is ask your child if they are hurting themselves on purpose. Remember to use a tone that is not judgmental or punishing. Show your concern for your child’s well-being. Once they tell you why they cut, validate their feelings to show you are listening and care.
This is also the opportunity to think of healthier ways for your teen to express their feelings. You can identify activities they can do when they feel overwhelmed like calling a friend, going for a walk, or writing in a journal. You can also create a list of trusted friends and family who would be great people to vent their feelings to.
Seeking Professional Help
The best time for your teen to seek professional help for cutting is right away. A doctor can help identify the root cause of their behavior as well as healthy methods of treatment. Please contact our office to learn how your teen can better handle their emotions without harming themselves in the process.
